I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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