It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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