your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
