she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
