you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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