You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
