shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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