She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
