That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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