he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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