forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
pray to the hookup gods
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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