he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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