do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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