Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
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Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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