i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
