are you still at the devil's house?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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