pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
