Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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