i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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