I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
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