she woke up with a sticky ear
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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