We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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