My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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