Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
