Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
