Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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