it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
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There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
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Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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