Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
