What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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