He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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