I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
