So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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