did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
