Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
