it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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