things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize