ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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