ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
