You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize