I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
