I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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