weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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