i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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