There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
