did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
