Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
this is an emotional support booty call
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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