I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
