Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
this is an emotional support booty call
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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