You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
