summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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