Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
