found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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