so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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