You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize