why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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