I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Every concussion has its silver lining
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
