So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
