Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
