I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
