wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
