That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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