She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
